We’ve all had them, haven’t we? They
are not something that we usually earn, but if we live long enough more than a
few of them will arrive at our doorstep. Sometimes we anticipate and plan for
them and even celebrate them – sometimes in a big way with a big party. Other
times, they show up and we would just as soon forget them.
In
either instance, we open our door one day and there they are like freshly delivered
Amazon packages waiting to be opened. In some cases, we are excited and filled
with expectation – “Hurrah, it is finally here.” In other cases, we think: “O,
you again. I think I’ll leave you in the box.”
I
am talking about those “zero” anniversaries – the 10th, 20th,
30th, 40th, 50th (or more) year after an
important milestone in our lives. These events include a number of life
passages such as graduation from high school or college, your wedding day, your
birthday, your sobriety, the birth of a child or grandchild or
great-grandchild, the death of a loved one, your being declared “cancer-free,” and
so on.
One
year when I served on our Ohio Regional staff, a number of us all had zero
birthdays in the same year: Our bookkeeper turned 30, I became 40, one
secretary turned 50, and another person was 60. Some folks get depressed about
these zero birthdays, so I decided to take all the zeros out to lunch. We had
fun, and I remember the non-zeros feeling a bit left out. We may have graciously
shared our birthday cake with them. Maybe.
I’ve
got a few zeros this year: 30 years ago on Mother’s Day I was ordained into
ministry at my home church in Warren, Ohio (I shared this in a sermon a few
weeks back); 40 years ago this week my father died just a week shy of his 48th
birthday; in September our oldest son Jacob will transition from his 20’s to
being a 30 year old.
Each
of these events was among the defining events of my life which still shape and
inform me. One of the lessons that my father’s early death continues to teach
me is that “about that day or hour no one knows.” None of us is guaranteed even
one more day or life either for ourselves or for those we love. This has not made
me fatalistic or despairing, but has helped me appreciate the value of each and
every day that we do have with those we love. The taking of vows at my
ordination (not unlike the taking of wedding vows) helped me to understand that
despite not knowing how many days that we might have (or what those days might
hold) that we can still commit ourselves to something of value and purpose long
term. The birth of a child to Holly and I not only launched a new phase of our
lives together but gave us the chance to sacrifice and to serve in a way that
we could not have done otherwise. It also brought a sense of hope and joy and
anticipation about the future.
What
are the important milestones of your life? How did they change you? As you
think about them on those zero anniversaries, do they still teach you something
of importance?
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